4th of July Diversion

A little distraction for any of our American readers with the misfortune of being stranded at work on this 4th of July.


One Angry Man, by Peter J. Boyer

A fascinating piece taken from last week's New Yorker, documenting the life and work of Keith Olbermann. One of my favourite passages concerns a tirade Olbermann wrote condemning the presidency of George W. Bush:


Phil Griffin, the senior vice-president in charge of MSNBC (“Phil thinks he’s my boss,” Olbermann says), raised the matter of tone. Why did Olbermann need to end his commentary by telling the President of the United States to “shut the hell up”?

“Because I can’t say, ‘Shut the fuck up,’ that’s why, frankly,” Olbermann responded. The line stayed in.


The Book of Revelation

A great column from the National Post (June 20) in which relatively famous and important Canadians talk about the book that changed them in some more or less profound way. Everyone from Kevin Newman and Shelagh Rogers to Bob Rae and Torquil Cambell weigh in. There are few things better than a great book that has come highly recommended, and if you know and respect any of these people, there just might be something in there for you.

If I had to name my book of revelation, it would probably (and somewhat inexplicably) be The Body, by Stephen King (as expounded upon in this piece). I say 'somewhat inexplicably' because The Body is the only thing by Stephen King that I've ever managed to finish.

Thanks to Flats for the link.


Hot Chicks with Douchebags

My buddy D-Hibb sent me the link to this site a few weeks back, saying that he simply couldn't get enough of it.

The highlight for me came a few days later when the site posted this entry, poking fun at the respectable looking lad standing there with Topanga from Boy Meets World. In one of the classic twists of internet irony, that respectable looking lad was none other than Barstool's own El Presidente. His self-depricating response is sheer hilarity.


Life as a Loser #1: Intro to Life as a Loser, by Will Leitch

Just in case you didn't read it in last week's entry regarding the Will Leitch roast. This is hands down one of the best things I've come across in a long time. Absolutely hilarious and heart breaking all at once.

Nobody said that getting dumped only hours before going on a game show would be easy, but this is gut-wrenching. At least the new editor at New York Magazine can laugh about it now... sort of...



Springsteen 4th of July Song Showdown:

4th of July, Asbury Park (Sandy)



Vs.

Independence Day



Absolutely love both tracks. Trying to decide between the two would be like asking a mother to choose which one of her children she likes best. Simply impossible.

I have to say, the old footage of Asbury Park circa 1988 brings me back to a good time in my life, as the first time I ever stepped foot on the sacred Jersey Shore was that same year. And then back in 2005, my brother Ronnie, my buddy Dunner, and I made one of those male bonding pilgrimages to Asbury Park that looked eerily similar to what these guys did. Good times all around.


Happy 4th of July to all of our American friends!

Binge Drinking in Moderation

This past weekend was one of those quasi-long weekends in Canada where the statutory holiday (Canada Day) fell on a Tuesday. Half the people I know took the Monday off and voluntarily worked Tuesday, forgoing the ultra-Canadian tradition of throwing horseshoes and sitting out in the sun all day while listening to Neil Young and the Tragically Hip; while the other half kind of coasted through Monday with a half-assed effort, only to find themselves facing a Canada Day celebration curtailed by the fact that they knew they would have to get up for work the following morning.

The result of this half-assed long weekend, as you might well expect, was a half-assed binge drinking effort on most everyone's part. As I look back on it, there were very few moments I didn't have a beer in my hand, yet with the exception of a very late and extremely intoxicated Friday night, I went the duration of the long weekend without getting drunk. Somewhere out there, Terry and The Deaner are pouring out a Pilsener for my youth.

Just to recap: Attended a city wedding Saturday night with an endless supply of Stella Artois, and was able to acquire little more than a decent buzz before climbing aboard the streetcar and heading for home. An all around pathetic display at the open bar.

Drank a few Steam Whistles in the afternoon on Sunday before engaging in a sad display of schoolyard basketball, sweating just enough to completely offset the beer drinking, and then headed out to see the world's most overqualified cover band at Scruffy Murphy's. The band, comprised of many members of the now-defunct Staggered Crossing, was absolutely out of this world, often switching instruments mid-song, making every single track sound like one of their own, and absolutely rocking the shit out of that place. The versions they did of Petty's I Won't Back Down, Cocker's Feelin' Alright (originally done by Traffic), and the Not Fade Away/Bo Diddley medley were unreal. Let me tell you, if you were ever looking for a place to party on a Sunday night, Scruffy Murphy's has to be hands down one of your best options. Inexplicably, I had decided to drive that night. After three beverages, the self-inflicted fun police stepped in and I shut it down. I am an idiot.

Monday night, after The Alfredo Griffins began their second season with a thrilling 1-0 default victory, the team headed over to my buddy Rosco's place for some sweet BBQ action. Again, drank beer all night, but there was so much food going around that it was impossible to get to that good old fashioned wasted state that makes the Canadian long weekend so special. Don't get me wrong, that didn't stop me from riding the Vomit Comet home, but still...

Which brings us to Canada Day. My buddy Sully hosted the first annual Lornie Sullivan Canada Day Horseshoe Tournament, and it started out looking like it would be a pretty wild day of drinking and horseshoes. The one thing that we hadn't planned on (although in retrospec, it should have been the most obvious fate in the world), however, was that the party would be bone dry by about 7pm. I guess with all of the Beer and Liquor stores closed for the holiday, it was impossible to rally together for one of those legendary 6pm keg runs that usually characterizes just about every great afternoon gong show. As a result, we left Sully's around 9:30 with a pretty decent glow, but with speech unslurred and in complete motor control. How incredibly disappointing.



So there you have it. I didn't think that binge drinking in moderation was possible, but apparently, under the right conditions, it can be accomplished. All of the unproductivity of binge drinking and hangovers, without any of that pesky fun that goes along with a good 4-day bender.


I really think we need to band together as a nation to make sure that the next long weekend is filled with funnels, hard liquor, and projectile vomiting, just like this country's forefathers intended.

Will Leitch

(The above is a spoof on the Costas Now piece about the life and work of Will Leitch.)

For those of you who follow the sports blogging circuit, today marks the end of a long and glorious run for one of the blogosphere's founding fathers, Will Leitch.

Leitch founded Deadspin back in September of 2005, a sports blog and website that paved the way for so many others in its image (Barstool Sports, Kissing Suzy Kolber, With Leather, Awful Announcing...). He is selling out in a way that all bloggers secretly and not-so-secretly hope to one day do, leaving behind his fantastic web-based forum for a position with a more established publication: New York Magazine.


One of the best things Leitch has ever written was about his experience on the gameshow "Win Ben Stein's Money". He appeared on the show only hours after being dumped by his then-fiance, and he wrote about it for The Black Table. The video evidence can be seen HERE.


For the rest of the Deadspin Roast (fittingly titled: "Will Leitch Sucks"), click HERE.

Reason #4,572 Why I Love The NBA Draft:

Vs.

From ESPN's Bill Simmons:

There's comedy, there's high comedy, there's transcendent comedy, and then there's Robin Lopez giving an interview with an undersized Suns hat stuffed on top of his Anderson Varejao-esque permfro. In the words of Jim Nantz, what a moment! I never thought anyone would top Oscar Gamble's 1976 Topps card, but that came damned close.

Runnin' Down a Dream

"The first time you hear a new Tom Petty song, it sounds like a classic song."

- Eddie Vedder.


You really have no idea how great a band Tom Petty and The Heartbreakers are until you sit down and watch this movie. All 4 hours of it. I own most of Petty's records, and even I was blown away by the breadth of his catalogue.

My buddy Browner (the seanmccallum.com resident music expert) recently lent me a copy of the documentary Runnin' Down a Dream, imploring me to watch it. I won't lie to you: it took me about two weeks to get around to it, and it was only whilst up in the wilds of Dornoch, facing the prospect of another night of Ethel Barrymore tributes (in black-and-white) on Turner Classic Movies, that we actually busted it out. But within the first three minutes, we were unequivocally hooked.

This is a brilliant documentary.

You really forget how great a songwriter Tom Petty is... and then this movie reminds you. But aside from the music, what I loved about this documentary was the story of the early days; how Mudcrutch came to be, how Mudcrutch came to be The Heartbreakers (one of the 10 best band names of all-time), and how they eventually made their way (the story of the band driving out to L.A. in an old station wagon that breaks down along the way is the story of every rock band with a dream). There is some amazing old footage from those early days, and some of the stories that Petty himself tells are absolutely hilarious. I had no idea he was such a raconteur.

But the absolute highlight for me came in the story of how The Travelling Wilburys - maybe the single greatest collection of Rock and Roll tallent ever assembled- came into existence. That serendipitous tale can be seen below:

Same old story. George needed a B-side, Roy wanted to come, George's guitar was at Tom's house, the only studio available was Bob's...

The same thing happens to me and my buddies all the time, except instead of winding up with a Grammy Award Winning album and millions of copies sold, we usually end up funnelling Lucky Lager and singing Joe Cocker tunes.

If you love Rock and Roll music, this is a must-see documentary.

Breaking News: Jermaine O'Neal to The Raps

From espn.com:

On the eve of the NBA draft, the Toronto Raptors and Indiana Pacers finally agreed to a trade.

Sources told ESPN The Magazine's Ric Bucher that the Pacers and the Raptors have agreed to a deal that, pending review of medical information, would send Jermaine O'Neal to Toronto in exchange for T.J. Ford, Rasho Nesterovic and the No. 17 pick in Thursday's NBA draft.

To read more, click HERE:


Let me be the first to go on record as saying that I love this move. In the hours after the Raps were handed a junior high schoolyard beatdown at the hands of the Orlando Magic, I wrote that if the boys in Red had any hope of competing in the Eastern Conference over the next 10 years, they needed to get tougher. In fact, I went so far as to suggest that they draft for Joey "38.7% Free Throw Shooting" Dorsey in Thursday's draft. But Brian Colangelo has one upped the experts here at SeanMcCallum.com. Because not only did he manage to secure the first legit Center in Raptors franchise history, and a 6-time all-star with plenty of game left to free up perennial All-Star Chris Bosh; Colangelo may have just acquired the Baddest Mother F#cker this side of Charles Oakley.

Just to refresh your memory:


Go ahead and fast-forward to the 1:15 mark. The Raps could use a little dose of that don't-fuck-with-my-team toughness/insanity.


As for what the Raps are sending the other way, it was pretty clear that T.J's time was up in Toronto, as he had basically become the Larry Murphy of the Toronto basketball scene; a skilled player who gets blamed for everything that goes wrong. There are nights when he looks unstoppable as a scorer, but there is no denying that the team is infinitely better with Jose running the point. Rasho was going to walk anyway. As for the 17th pick? Have you taken note of the Raptors draft history? If the names Michael Bradley (17th pick), Rafael Araujo (8th pick), and Joey Graham (one spot ahead of Danny Granger) mean nothing to you, you have proven my point exactly.


Love the fact that the Raps got bigger and tougher. Love the fact that Jose Calderon is the starting point guard. And love the fact that the Raps finally have an Irishman to play the 5...

Now, about that whole knee thing....

George Carlin

From the Associated Press:

LOS ANGELES – George Carlin, the frenzied performer whose routine "Seven Words You Can Never Say On Television" led to a key Supreme Court ruling on obscenity, has died.

Carlin, who had a history of heart trouble, went into St. John's Health Center in Santa Monica on Sunday afternoon complaining of chest pain and died later that evening, said his publicist, Jeff Abraham. He had performed as recently as last weekend at the Orleans Casino and Hotel in Las Vegas. He was 71.

"He was a genius and I will miss him dearly," Jack Burns, who was the other half of a comedy duo with Carlin in the early 1960s, told The Associated Press.

Carlin's jokes constantly breached the accepted boundaries of comedy and language, particularly with his routine on the "Seven Words" – all of which are taboo on broadcast TV and radio to this day.

When he uttered all seven at a show in Milwaukee in 1972, he was arrested on charges of disturbing the peace, freed on $150 bail and exonerated when a Wisconsin judge dismissed the case, saying it was indecent but citing free speech and the lack of any disturbance.

When the words were later played on a New York radio station, they resulted in a 1978 Supreme Court ruling upholding the government's authority to sanction stations for broadcasting offensive language during hours when children might be listening.

"So my name is a footnote in American legal history, which I'm perversely kind of proud of," he told The Associated Press earlier this year.

Despite his reputation as unapologetically irreverent, Carlin was a television staple through the decades, serving as host of the ``Saturday Night Live" debut in 1975 – noting on his Web site that he was "loaded on cocaine all week long" – and appearing some 130 times on "The Tonight Show.''

He produced 23 comedy albums, 14 HBO specials, three books, a couple of TV shows and appeared in several movies, from his own comedy specials to "Bill and Ted's Excellent Adventure" in 1989 – a testament to his range from cerebral satire and cultural commentary to downright silliness (and sometimes hitting all points in one stroke).

"Why do they lock gas station bathrooms?" he once mused. "Are they afraid someone will clean them?''

He won four Grammy Awards, each for best spoken comedy album, and was nominated for five Emmy awards. On Tuesday, it was announced that Carlin was being awarded the 11th annual Mark Twain Prize for American Humor, which will be presented Nov. 10 in Washington and broadcast on PBS.

Carlin started his career on the traditional nightclub circuit in a coat and tie, pairing with Burns to spoof TV game shows, news and movies. Perhaps in spite of the outlaw soul, "George was fairly conservative when I met him," said Burns, describing himself as the more left-leaning of the two. It was a degree of separation that would reverse when they came upon Lenny Bruce, the original shock comic, in the early '60s.

"We were working in Chicago, and we went to see Lenny, and we were both blown away," Burns said, recalling the moment as the beginning of the end for their collaboration if not their close friendship. "It was an epiphany for George. The comedy we were doing at the time wasn't exactly groundbreaking, and George knew then that he wanted to go in a different direction.''

That direction would make Carlin as much a social commentator and philosopher as comedian, a position he would relish through the years.

"The whole problem with this idea of obscenity and indecency, and all of these things – bad language and whatever – it's all caused by one basic thing, and that is: religious superstition,'' Carlin told the AP in a 2004 interview. "There's an idea that the human body is somehow evil and bad and there are parts of it that are especially evil and bad, and we should be ashamed. Fear, guilt and shame are built into the attitude toward sex and the body. ... It's reflected in these prohibitions and these taboos that we have.''

Carlin was born on May 12, 1937, and grew up in the Morningside Heights section of Manhattan, raised by a single mother. After dropping out of high school in the ninth grade, he joined the Air Force in 1954. He received three court-martials and numerous disciplinary punishments, according to his official Web site.

While in the Air Force he started working as an off-base disc jockey at a radio station in Shreveport, La., and after receiving a general discharge in 1957, took an announcing job at WEZE in Boston.

"Fired after three months for driving mobile news van to New York to buy pot," his Web site says.

From there he went on to a job on the night shift as a deejay at a radio station in Fort Worth, Texas. Carlin also worked variety of temporary jobs including a carnival organist and a marketing director for a peanut brittle.

In 1960, he left with Burns, a Texas radio buddy, for Hollywood to pursue a nightclub career as comedy team Burns & Carlin. He left with $300, but his first break came just months later when the duo appeared on Jack Paar's "Tonight Show.''

Carlin said he hoped to emulate his childhood hero, Danny Kaye, the kindly, rubber-faced comedian who ruled over the decade Carlin grew up in – the 1950s – with a clever but gentle humour reflective of the times.

It didn't work for him, and the pair broke up by 1962.

"I was doing superficial comedy entertaining people who didn't really care: Businessmen, people in nightclubs, conservative people. And I had been doing that for the better part of 10 years when it finally dawned on me that I was in the wrong place doing the wrong things for the wrong people," Carlin reflected recently as he prepared for his 14th HBO special, "It's Bad For Ya.''

Eventually Carlin lost the buttoned-up look, favouring the beard, ponytail and all-black attire for which he came to be known.

But even with his decidedly adult-comedy bent, Carlin never lost his childlike sense of mischief, even voicing kid-friendly projects like episodes of the TV show "Thomas the Tank Engine and Friends'' and the spacey Volkswagen bus Fillmore in the 2006 Pixar hit ``Cars.''

Carlin's first wife, Brenda, died in 1997. He is survived by wife Sally Wade; daughter Kelly Carlin McCall; son-in-law Bob McCall; brother Patrick Carlin; and sister-in-law Marlene Carlin.


George Carlin is the only comedian I have ever paid money to see (Las Vegas, MGM Grand, 2001 - The performance included the best/most offensive opening line in the history of comedy), and in my opinion, he is far and away the most socially relevant comedian we've ever known. No comedy collection is complete without "Seven Words You Can Never Say On Television" (in honour of Carlin, here they are: "Shit, Piss, Fuck, Cunt, CockSucker, MotherFucker, and Tits"), and for my money, 1996's Back In Town is the best hour of standup I have ever come across.

I have to say that George Carlin saw the world in much the same way that I do, and in many ways he said the things that most of us were afraid to say. He will be missed greatly.


Some of his finer work can be found below (Language is extremely NSFW - just the way we like it):

White People




Free-Floating Hostility