Back to the Drawing Board

Honestly, in a thousand years, did you ever imagine that the Raptors would be eliminated from the playoffs before the Atlanta Hawks? What kind of odds would you get on that in Vegas? A thousand-to-one? A million-to-one? It's disgusting.

In any event, I have no idea what the answer for this team going into next year is. They obviously need some secondary scoring, and that will probably have to come in the form of a trade involving T.J. Ford (who may have salvaged his value with some decent performances the past 3 games) and an expiring contract (I'm looking at you, Rasho Nesterovic). Will this get them a serviceable 3 in the mould of a Corey Maggette or that-guy-they-should-have-drafted-instead-of-Rafeal-Araujo-who-would-have-been-a-perfect-fit-for-this-team? That will be left to the capable hands of Bryan Colangelo.

I think the Raps also missed Jorge Garbajosa more than they thought they would (he brings the toughness, intangibles, and experience to the team that can't be quantified - like a white, Spanish Charles Oakley). I also think that Andrea Bargnani might want to think about working on his game this summer (even though I'm not ready to give up on a 22-year old 7-footer, I'm pretty sure he got outplayed by Pat Garrity in this series).

But I think more than anything else, it was blatantly obvious all year long that the Toronto Raptors need to be tougher inside. You can't get outrebounded by 18 and expect to win, especially considering that Dwight Howard will be bitch-slapping them around the court for the next 10 years.

To me, the answer is obvious: draft Joey Dorsey.

I know that he's 24 years old and that he might be the worst free throw shooter in the history of organized basketball (he shot an incomprehensible 38% from the charity stripe this year!), but I'm pretty sure that if you were to reach into his back pocket and pull out his wallet, it would have the words "BAD MOTHER FUCKER" burned into it. In fact, the more I think of it, the more convinced I am that Joey Dorsey is the Jules Winnfield of the basketball world. Having him on the roster will make any team tougher. Hell, this guy grew up in the same West Baltimore projects where they film "The Wire". He's not backing down from anyone. He will be the Charles Oakley of the NBA for the next 10 years. He will give Chris Bosh some much needed help on the boards, and he can defend monsters like Dwight Howard and the rest of the dominant big men from the west with his ridiculous athleticism and physique.

Did you see his stat line in the UCLA game in the Final Four this year? 0 points, 15 rebounds. That's what I want. No touch around the basket. No semblance of a low post game. Only bad motherfucker toughness and a knack for grabbing those soul-crushing rebounds that Dwight Howard and Rashard Lewis (Rashard Lewis???) were killing the Raptors with all series long.

I was hoping he'd still be available at #47 so the Raps could use their second round pick on him, but apparently the brain trust dealt that pick to the San Antonio Spurs (the rich get richer...) for Giorgos Printezis. And if you're wondering who Giorgos Printezis is, you are not alone. Maybe they can parlay Giorgos and the player formerly known as Joey Graham into an early second rounder and snatch JD before some other team turns him into the second coming of Ben Wallace.


Need more convincing?