Thursday, May 28, 2009
Up On The Roof
By Verlyn Klinkenborg
National Geographic's look into the world of Green Roofing. This is a great primer for those looking to get the Coles Notes version of the benefits of vegetated roof assemblies.
The Break of the Curveball
Professor Art Shapiro shows us how the spin of the curveball acts as an optical illusion. What is not an optical illusion, however, is Barry Zito's 9 figure salary.
It's Made of 100% Cotton; It's Sales are 99% Ironic
By Mike Musgrove
A more thorough look into the magic behing the phenomenon of the Three Wolf Moon T-shirt...
Thanks to Llibs for the link
Asbury Park Club From Springsteen's Glory Days Set for Auction
By David M. Levitt
If I had any kind of money laying around, I'd be in Asbury Park June 18th... Why can't I just be independently wealthy?
Thanks to DJ Smitty for the Real Estate tip
By Jonathan Lethem
For those who are into the work of Jonathan Lethem... Or for those who ever just wanted to leave it all behind... Or for those who are fascinated by 3-legged pitbulls...
The YouTube clip of the week comes courtesy of Allan Cross and The Ongoing History of New Music. I was driving home from softball (of the co-ed, non-competitive variety) Monday night and heard this track... My question is: how have I gone the duration of my life without ever having heard Steinski & The Mass Media's The Motorcade Sped On? This is one of the greatest mashups of all-time.
Saturday, May 23, 2009
Wednesday, May 20, 2009
Three Wolf Moon T-Shirt
Exhibit A - This item has wolves on it which makes it intrinsically sweet and worth 5 stars by itself, but once I tried it on, that's when the magic happened. After checking to ensure that the shirt would properly cover my girth, I walked from my trailer to Wal-mart with the shirt on and was immediately approached by women. The women knew from the wolves on my shirt that I, like a wolf, am a mysterious loner who knows how to 'howl at the moon' from time to time (if you catch my drift!). The women that approached me wanted to know if I would be their boyfriend and/or give them money for something they called mehth. I told them no, because they didn't have enough teeth, and frankly a man with a wolf-shirt shouldn't settle for the first thing that comes to him.
I arrived at Wal-mart, mounted my courtesy-scooter (walking is such a drag!) sitting side saddle so that my wolves would show. While I was browsing tube socks, I could hear aroused asthmatic breathing behind me. I turned around to see a slightly sweaty dream in sweatpants and flip-flops standing there. She told me she liked the wolves on my shirt, I told her I wanted to howl at her moon. She offered me a swig from her mountain dew, and I drove my scooter, with her shuffling along side out the door and into the rest of our lives. Thank you wolf shirt.
Pros: Fits my girthy frame, has wolves on it, attracts women
Cons: Only 3 wolves (could probably use a few more on the 'guns'), cannot see wolves when sitting with arms crossed, wolves would have been better if they glowed in the dark.
Exhibit B - Unfortunately I already had this exact picture tattooed on my chest, but this shirt is very useful in colder weather.
Exhibit C - I am getting married this August and this is the only item on my registry. I hope to get hundreds of them.
Wow, those are some pretty glowing reviews for both products. But I think in this case, I'd have to go with the Wolf Shirt. Because let me tell you, I once received a similarly emblazoned wolf blanket in one of those family Chirstmas gift exchange deals, and I can tell you first hand that the powers of the blanket are strikingly similar to those which are being described with regards to the shirt... The bottom line is, when girls see the Wolves, they invariably remove their panties.
By the way, since when did Amazon.com begin selling clothing?
Thanks to Micah and DJ Smitty for passing along these two indispensible products.
(Language is NSFW... Obviously)
We'll go ahead and call this a sneak peek into a day in the life of a lowly blogger.
How I've gone the duration of my life without seeing this clip before defies explanation... And coming from a family who once owned one of these luxury machines (1978 Minnie Winnie), believe me when I say that my dad would be able to sympathize with each and every last F-bomb.
I believe the director of Winnebago Man put it best when he said of Jack Rebney: "He works in swear words the way some men work with oils..."
Thanks to Leigha for the tip.
Tuesday, May 19, 2009
For quite some time now, we here at SeanMcCallum.com have been toiling long and hard with the prospect of hiring an intern to help carry the load. Up until now, it's been an impossible decision. Do I risk compromising the *Quality* of the content at the reward of a little extra free time with which to drink $10 beers in the 500 level at the Rogers Centre? What if the new intern writes something offensive and gets me in a whack of legal and moral trouble? Or most importantly, what if the Dotcomrades simply don't like his/her brand of humour?
Fortunately for everyone involved, however; through an act of what can only be described as divine intervention; the perfect candidate has fallen into our laps, all but making the decision for us.
His name is Nicholas G. Christakis.
3 Bankruptcies. 6 Civil Actions. And 1 Franchise Ice Cream Cafe... That, folks, is a resume that speaks for itself.
This was a no-brainer right from the start. I mean, the guy loves rockin' and rollin'... No more need be said. And did you see that camera work? I'm telling you, you won't recognize this blog by the time Nick Christakis is through with it. We'll be nationally franchised with so many connections and the best mentors money can buy, and you throw in the W2s and the 10-99s and whatever it is, and there's simply NO STOPPING US! I mean, you heard the man, didn't you? He takes one with two and makes three!!! And those BOOKS!!! In the past PM before the AM... The guy never stops.
You heard it from the man himself: he is the Donald Trump of the Future...
Thanks to Flats for the referral.
*Quality*, in this case, is a strictly relative term.
By the way, gun to your head, who do you hire first? Christakis or Spud? I think I'm going with the perfectionist.
Monday, May 18, 2009
Bill Simmons: What coffee table book would be shorter: "Dwight Howard's Most Effective Low Post Moves" or "Stan Van Gundy's Nicest Suits?"
Keith (Blacksburg, VA): Both those coffee books would be epic volumes compared to "Times Bill Simmons Thought Better of Making a 90210 Reference"
Bill Simmons: …Is it just me or does Paul Maurice look like he should be hanging around a playground in a van?
(moments after Milan Lucic tied the Bruins-Canes game at 2-2):
Bill Simmons: A game-winner from Looch followed by him cold-cocking Walker in the handshake line would make him the new Paul Revere in Boston.
Bill Simmons: Hold on, Carolina turned it up a notch... yeeeesh. Playoff hockey should be sponsored by Marlboro Reds.
Robbie (Pound Ridge, NY): On a scale of 1-10 how much more interested are you in this game if it's the whalers v. bruins? BRING BACK THE WHALE!
Zo, (Arlington, VA): Bill, do you think that Pau Gasol was named Paul as a kid, but some kid out-rebounded him for the the 'L' during a pick up game?
Josh (Hoboken, NJ): Bill-- just thought I'd bring up that every player on the ice tonight have as many HR's as David Ortiz...
Thursday, May 14, 2009
By Jonah Lehrer
Flying in the face of all things May Two-Four, here's a little piece explaining the virtues of self-control. Tom Petty famously wrote that the waiting is the hardest part; Lehrer explains why it's probably in your best interest to do so.
Gladwell-Simmons II: Ultimate Rematch
By Malcolm Gladwell and Bill Simmons
Two of my favourite writers go toe-to-toe in an email exchange discussing everything from Larry Holmes and Boxing Heavyweights to Jennifer Aniston and the NBA draft lottery.
His Irish Diaspora
By Alex Witchel
A beautiful look into the life and work of Colm Toibin. How's this for a poetic description of the Irish disposition?
In a public symposium about 9/11 at the library he used the expression “an Irish face.” An audience member asked what that meant. “I said, ‘I mean someone whose eyes are soft but his jaw is hard, who can look very stubborn, who can remain silent for a very long time, who’s capable of immense love but never mentioning it and capable also of resentments, who’s never much owned anything and is happier looking at the horizon than other possessions.’ ”
Thanks to Unkle Mike for the piece.
Canada's Dan Dawson named NLL MVP
The Canadian Press
What. A. Legend.
Wednesday, May 13, 2009
Tuesday, May 12, 2009
I really don't know what to make of this guy... Sure, I'd like to get my hands on as many balls as possible... I mean, who wouldn't? But really, wearing two different hats to a game? If some dude sitting in front of me at the Jays-Yankees game tonight tries to pull that stunt he can surely expect a Delgado bath and a swift kick to the groin.
As for learning the different languages, we'll chalk it up to a gross missallocation of resources on this guy's part and suggest that somebody have a chat with him about his priorities (for all intents and purposes, this dude might as well have the word VIRGIN tattooed across his forehead). Because I can tell you that I've attempted this "learning a catchy phrase in the native tongue" approach with girls in foreign countries and I can say with complete certainty that 60% of the time it works every time...
The best explanation for this guy's success, however, comes from the YouTube comment section:
No self respecting adult brings a glove to a game. They must think this kid is retarded thats why they give him a ball.
Thanks to Flats for the tip.
Friday, May 8, 2009
As always, here is some of the best writing I've come across over the course of the past little while.
How David Beats Goliath
By Malcolm Gladwell
A simple handbook describing how to play "insurgent basketball". Needless to say, The City All-Stars will be looking to implement the full court press next year. Because if a group of 12-year old girls can ride this style to the championship, just imagine what a group of finely tuned athletes like ourselves would be able to accomplish...
(There's much more going on in this piece than simply basketball, but you get the idea)
Confronting My Worst Nightmare
By Bill Simmons
The perfect account of just how Manny's positive test will affect Red Sox Nation. This is brilliant.
Prison Awaiting Hostile Bloggers
By David Kravets
Thanks to Flats for the tip.
Thursday, May 7, 2009
Tuesday, May 5, 2009
In his own words:
The Cleveland Tourism Board gave me 14 million dollars about 8 months ago to make a promotional video to bring people to Cleveland. As usual, I waited till the last minute and I ended up having to shoot and edit it in about an hour yesterday afternoon. I probably should have invested more time.
My favourite selling features for the Forest City (Mistake on the Lake?) include:
- You should come on down to West 6th Street... It's the perfect place if you're a douchebag.
- Our economy is based on Lebron James
- Our main export is crippling depression
Fun times in Cleveland, indeed.