Just in case you didn't have a spare 7 hours to follow along at home last Thursday night, here are the highlights from the Sports Guy's marathon chat during one of the biggest (read: worst) days in the history of Boston sports. To refresh your memory, Thursday consisted of the Red Sox losing in 12-innings to the Angels, the Celtics blowing a huge lead in game 6 of the Eastern Conference semifinals, and the Bruins losing in OT to Scott Walker and the Carolina Hurricanes... As you might well imagine, in the hands of a die-hard Boston sports fan, this made for fantastic, misery-riddled writing.
The chat consisted, for the most part, of sports fans from around the world ripping on David Ortiz, comparing Stan Van Gundy to Ron Jeremy, and witnessing the re-emergence of playoff hockey on the ESPN stage. Listed below are some of the highlights.
(By the way, as great as this chat was, it was seriously tainted by the revelation that Bill Simmons is now available on Twitter... What the hell is the world coming to?)
Steve (Marlborough, MA): DEAR GOD. Ortiz has made the third out in the 4th, 6th, 8th, 10th and 12th innings, leaving runners stranded in scoring position each time. This reminds me of when I was a kid and my dog got so old that she couldn't make it up and down stairs anymore. What's the over/under on games before Ortiz gets a phantom injury and a trip to the DL? (Yes I sent this before Ortiz was officially out, but we both knew it was coming)
Bill Simmons: Papi just ended the inning with a 10-foot grounder. I will now light myself on fire.
Bill Simmons: What coffee table book would be shorter: "Dwight Howard's Most Effective Low Post Moves" or "Stan Van Gundy's Nicest Suits?"
Keith (Blacksburg, VA): Both those coffee books would be epic volumes compared to "Times Bill Simmons Thought Better of Making a 90210 Reference"
Bill Simmons: …Is it just me or does Paul Maurice look like he should be hanging around a playground in a van?
(moments after Milan Lucic tied the Bruins-Canes game at 2-2):
Bill Simmons: A game-winner from Looch followed by him cold-cocking Walker in the handshake line would make him the new Paul Revere in Boston.
Bill Simmons: Hold on, Carolina turned it up a notch... yeeeesh. Playoff hockey should be sponsored by Marlboro Reds.
Robbie (Pound Ridge, NY): On a scale of 1-10 how much more interested are you in this game if it's the whalers v. bruins? BRING BACK THE WHALE!
Zo, (Arlington, VA): Bill, do you think that Pau Gasol was named Paul as a kid, but some kid out-rebounded him for the the 'L' during a pick up game?
Josh (Hoboken, NJ): Bill-- just thought I'd bring up that every player on the ice tonight have as many HR's as David Ortiz...
Bill Simmons: Please stop. No more. I am waving the flag.