Thursday, April 16, 2009

Friday Diversion

After a two week hiatus, the Diversion is back with a vengeance. Feel free to print some of these out and leave them on your boss's desk so he won't notice the fact that you've ducked out for a 3-Martini lunch on some hopping mad Queen Street patio as you soak in the sweet sunshine of the first spring-like Friday afternoon of the year. As always, here is some of the best reading I've come across over the course of the past... well... awhile.

Guy Walks Into a Bar Car
By David Sedaris

I have yet to come across anything by David Sedaris that doesn't make me laugh. Quite simply: he rules. Here is his tale of a chance encounter in the smokey bar car of a train taking him back home after breaking up with his boyfriend. Good times all around.

Economy Vs. Environment
By David Owen

Owen (author of Green Manhattan, one of my favourite pieces to ever appear in The New Yorker) uses Canada and the Kyoto Protocal to explain how the greatest threat to the environment, as always, is prosperity:

The explanation for Canada’s difficulties isn’t complicated: the world’s principal source of man-made greenhouse gases has always been prosperity. The recession makes that relationship easy to see: shuttered factories don’t spew carbon dioxide; the unemployed drive fewer miles and turn down their furnaces, air-conditioners, and swimming-pool heaters; struggling corporations and families cut back on air travel; even affluent people buy less throwaway junk. Gasoline consumption in the United States fell almost six per cent in 2008. That was the result not of a sudden greening of the American consciousness but of the rapid rise in the price of oil during the first half of the year, followed by the full efflorescence of the current economic mess.

Coming Down To Earth: Barack Obama's Progress

The Economist takes a look at the first two months of the Obama Presidency.

Thanks to Browner for the link.

George Brett Shits His Pants
By George Brett

This video clip (NSFW language) is good on so many levels. The story itself, segwaying into an even better one. His readily admitting that he's good for that "at least twice a year". The guys inching away from him throughout the entire ordeal because they're genuinely disgusted and don't want to hear another word but aren't in a position to say anything about it because he's George F'ing Brett... But my favourite part has to be the end, after the 13-time All-Star has just finished describing in the most graphic detail imaginable his previous adventures in loose-bowel-mishaps, when he concludes by asking matter-of-factly: "Who's the pitchers in this game?"

That's what makes a true Hall of Famer.

Thanks to DJ Smitty for the link.

Glory Days: A History of The Horseshoe Tavern

I came across this one afternoon and found it fascinating. If you've ever seen a legendary show at the legendary Tavern, you owe it to yourself to know the history.

T.O.'s Best Brunch
By Steven Davey

A look at Toronto's best places to nurse your hangover, catalogued according to 'hood. highly recommends Aunties and Uncles at Lippincott and College, and The Get Real Cafe at 135 Ossington for the vegan in you. For the best cup of coffee in town, check out Cherry Bomb at 79 Roncesvalles Ave. (about a block north of Queen)

The YouTube clip of the week comes from TS in the 705, and it isn't even a YouTube clip at all. Instead, it's a CNN piece that highlights the various ways in which it is perfectly acceptable to be involved in a Bromance. Who knew that Guyland would be going mainstream so soon?

Click HERE for the clip.

For the complete history of Bromances, check out The Sports Guy's latest Mailbag, in which he tackles the following subject:

Q: Do you think the relationship between Rocky and Apollo could be considered the original bromance?-- Kevin McB, Oakland, N.J.

SG: No way. The original bromance was Lewis and Clark. I'd break down the others like this: Costanza and Seinfeld (funniest); Norm and Cliff (second funniest); Diggler and Rothchild (third funniest); Borat and Azamat (grossest); O.J. and A.C. (most controversial); the Rat Pack (most influential); Kimmel and Carolla (drunkest); Puffy and Biggie after Biggie died (most shameless); Flintstone and Rubble (best animated); Mike and the Mad Dog (most tragic); Kurt Warner and Jesus (most inspirational); Jules and Vincent Vega (most violently entertaining); McEnroe and Fleming (most one-sided); Kobe and Shaq (most destructive); Lincoln and Derickson (most suspicious); Damon and Affleck (wealthiest); Tom and Jerry (most psychotic); Cagney and Lacey (just kidding); Michael Jackson and Emmanuel Lewis (openly creepiest); Bob Crane and John Carpenter (secretly creepiest); Spade and Farley (best one-time chemistry that couldn't be recreated, even by them); King and Favre (most gushing); Lennon and McCartney (most successful); Parker and Stone (most creative); A-Rod and Jeter (most contrived); Clapton and Harrison (biggest backstab); Chuck D and Flava Flav (most unlikely); Siegfried and Roy (best romance bromance); McConaughey and Armstrong (most appearances without a shirt); Bauer and Almeida (most exciting); Wilbon and Kornheiser (most reliable); De Niro and Pesci (best mafia); Redford and Newman (coolest); Simon and Garfunkel, Malone and Stockton, Madden and Summerall (tie for "best fit"); Scottie and Michael (most titles); Hanks and Scolari (biggest disparity of talent); Rocky and Apollo, Daniel-San and Miyagi, Buck and Aikman (tie for "most uncomfortable"); Clooney and Pitt (most overrated); Kirk and Spock, Tango and Cash (tie for "most unintentional comedy"); McNulty and Bunk, Big Papi and Manny (tie for "most underrated"); T-Mac and Vince (least likable); Felix and Oscar (best contrast); and Red and Andy (the greatest bromance ever), with Red and Andy's beach hug in Mexico doubling as the single greatest bromance moment. Thank you and please drive through.

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