My Baseball Card Collection

This one really defies explanation.

I know that all 6,400 cards could be purchased for two easy payments of $99.98, but really, after Don West lays his fat ass on top of your prospective collection and begins to do the front crawl, I think it's safe to say that your investment is depreciating with every stroke.

The best part is that he knows full well that he's utterly napalming the financial value of the entire collection, because he says: "I mean literally, I don't wanna lay on 'em here because I don't wanna bend anything..."

...And then before you can say "Folks, you're not gonna go wrong on this...", he's swan-diving into all 3,200 to emphasize exactly how many mint condition Michael Jordon College Rookies there are in the pile...


"'85 Tops!!!"

"OOOOH, another Mark McGuire!!!"