Medieval Times

I'm posting this about a week late, but I don't care.

Last Friday night, my buddy Sneeze decided to celebrate his 29th birthday Chip Douglas style by heading out for a night of merriment and mirth at "the finest restaurant in town": Medieval Times.

I can't even remember the last time I was so excited for a Friday night. And despite the fact that they didn't exactly let us battle it out like they do in The Cable Guy (bonus: best basketball scene of all-time), they still dressed our boy Sneeze up in a king's outfit of crown and robes, and we still got to call our server a 'wench'... Believe when I say that that never gets old.

There were two supreme highlights of the show for me. The first was when they began announcing all of the birthdays about two-thirds of the way through: "Happy 9th birthday to Timmy! Happy 7th birthday Samantha! And happy 29th birthday to Mike Ogilvie!!!". That slayed me.

The second highlight was the gigantic beers they were selling. Apparently, if you buy one of their massive souvenir mugs for $24, you can get it refilled with suds for only $7. Some quick math told me that if I was planning on drinking as much as I hoped, this souvenir mug would be a good investment. Three big-ass Steamwhistles later, and it was pretty obvious that I'd made the right decision.


So this combination of highlights got me thinking: could this be a new trend in birthdays? You know, doing the things you used to do for birthdays as a kid, except this time around, doing them with massive quantities of alcohol?

We were throwing around ideas while at the bar after the show. Pounding back PBR at the local bowling alley is fantastic any day of the week, but it's even better when they let you eat hot dogs and popcorn in the party room. Drunk go-carting is a no-brainer, and mini golf where the low score on every hole has to shotgun a beer would be equally awesome. I would totally do the McDonald's birthday party with everyone high on zoomers, and even though I was never the biggest fan of Laser Tag, throw in a little LSD and you could really be on to something.

But at the end of the day, I'll take a good old fashioned house party for my birthday. Pin the tale on the donkey, duck-duck-goose, spin the bottle... I'll take all of it while under the influence. Call me old fashioned, but I just like to see people getting as inebriated as possible while in the comforts of a safe, friendly setting. Like the one below: