Thursday, March 13, 2008

Opposite Day

In the past few weeks, I've had an alarmingly high number of friends and relations find themselves on the wrong ends of various mergers and corporate restructurings. Although not always the most enjoyable thing to have to go through, I'm just here to assure them that these things seem to always work out for the best.

Take me for example. When my previous employer wouldn't grant me the time off I'd requested in order to go to South America and live like an 18-year old bum for a third of a year, I thought I'd never be able to recover. How would I ever live without a job? Who would pay my bar tabs at The Cloak and Dagger for Move On Up night with DJ Anousheh? And how could I ever be expected to land another gig with my history of packing up and darting for foreign continents with little discernible motivation beyond an inexplicable wanderlust? Things seemed pretty hopeless, to say the least.

But less than two years later, look where I am today: a multi-national smut-peddlar with a web-based audience approaching the hundreds...

Let's just hope that things will work out better for you.

In any event, when all else fails, we can always look to George Costanza for inspiration. When circumstances lead us down the path of despair, the man is like a beacon of hope in the cold, dark night.

By the way, if you think I'm not adopting "We're gonna take it outside and I'm gonna SHOW YOU WHAT IT'S LIKE!" as my new catchphrase, you're sadly mistaken.

Bonus Coverage: Jerry and Larry talking about the episode, and how Larry became George (the other George).

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